A few months ago, a good friend of mine recommended a popular brand of high fiber oatmeal, the cinnamon swirl flavor, and it is so tasty. Recently, another friend enticed me to try mixing in some peanut butter, and today I even tossed in some trail mix, and it is delicious. I have had an inexplicable craving for grapefruit juice over the past week, so I enjoyed a glass of it with my uber-oatmeal.
Speaking of friends, my pastor spoke about friendship this morning at our church’s worship service. It was one of those sermons that spoke directly to me, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I love when that happens! I feel like God is speaking to me in a very clear and direct manner. He is affirming that what I think I have been learning about His nature and His will is on target.
Many of the ideas that follow are paraphrased from the pastor’s sermon. It is not my intention to take credit for his exegesis and wisdom.
“Love is a commitment based on the will of God and often accompanied by an emotion.”
We need friends who
1. Are willing to sacrifice on our behalf.
2. Will defend us when they are away from us.
3. Will give us the freedom to be ourselves when we are with each other.
4. Are constant encouragers.
How many of us have friends like these?
And how much greater is Christ our friend, as he embodies all of these statements.
Then, near the end of the sermon, the pastor made a statement that hit home for me: do not fight to get rid of sin; fight to see the love of Christ. Find strength in the Lord.
I have struggled with self-condemnation for many years, and recently I have begun to understand what a sin problem this attitude is. I feel tempted by a situation, and maybe I cross the line into sinful behavior, and I subconsciously think that because I am a Christian and a perfectionist, that I MUST make the right and Godly decision (read: in my own strength). When, inevitably, this fails, I beat myself up, piling sin on top of sin. (Side note: temptation alone is not a sin. It is not the first look that is sinful, it is the second and third.) I set my mind to cut off a certain behavior or thought or course of action, as if that is the solution.
But I am learning that the way I am reacting to temptation and to my sinful heart is more the problem than the actual temptation or sin about which I am worried in the first place. I am focusing all my thoughts and energy on the temptation, the sin, what I should do, and my strength or weakness in getting it accomplished. And then I fail.
Instead of fighting to get rid of sin (impossible in this lifetime, as my original nature is that my heart is so sinful), the better approach is to fight to see the love of Christ. This new perspective certainly does not free me from the responsibility to make wise and Godly decisions. But as I have written previously, for me personally, my sin problem leans more toward self-condemnation than licentiousness. I now see that to grow in my relationship with Christ, I want to focus on His love for me. I want to focus on the truth that I am His daughter, His beloved child. I want to build my identity in Christ and focus my attention and energy on Him.
And the behaviors and repentance will naturally follow. Because I cannot do it in my strength.
But I can do all things through him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). And the Lord my God will fight for me (Nehemiah 4:20). I am free from condemnation (Romans 8:1). I am not just one misstep away from losing God’s love; He has removed my sin from me as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Licentiousness v. Self-Condemnation
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sin.
There are many so-called Christians running around who are licentious, having reckless disregard for God’s law. They sleep around, lie, and cheat, declaring that “It’s all covered by the blood of Christ.” These folks believe that because God, by His grace, forgives us our sins when we confess, that they have the license to commit whatever sin they choose. They disregard the consequences, erroneously thinking that all will be well because of God’s grace.
The fallacy in this type of thinking is obvious to some. Paul says in Romans 6:1-4:
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
True believers in Christ Jesus have a new life, a new spirit, one that grieves over sin and longs to be more like Christ. So we recognize that licentiousness is dangerous and has unpleasant consequences, both temporally and eternally.
However, many of us do not think about the opposite end of the spectrum: the sin of self-condemnation. Guilt can be a positive feeling as it spurs us to repent, but feeling overly guilty is just as sinful as licentiousness.
I used to think that self-condemnation was merely synonymous with poor self-esteem. I knew it was a sin to be self-critical, to dislike my personality or my appearance. God made me the way I am, and I am beautiful in His eyes. This statement is difficult to internalize as it is, and I am learning that in addition to poor self-esteem, self-condemnation entails feeling overly guilty, remorseful, and self-critical over past sin.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:10:
10Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
While Biblical repentance includes feelings of Godly sorrow, it does not mean feeling overly self-critical and regretful for one’s thoughts and actions. Self-condemnation can erroneously make us believe that we are in control of ourselves rather than believing the truth that God is in control, and it denies His power of grace and forgiveness. Self-reproach can lead to relying on our own strength to “just try harder” or on our own power to punish ourselves for our sins (how often do we sin and then feel guilty and commit five other sins immediately after?), rather than growing closer to Him and turning to Him with our needs.
I have learned personally that I have a weakness in the area of self-condemnation, and Satan can use that weakness to put a wedge in my relationship with God. While I know intellectually that I am forgiven, because “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” (Romans 8:1), at times I feel very regretful for past actions and choices. I am a perfectionist, and while I am learning to give myself grace, I often feel that if I am not perfect, I am a failure.
Intellectually, I know that I cannot be perfectly righteous in my own strength, and that I need God’s power and the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. Yet I hate myself when I err or sin. But this self-loathing is not what God wants.
What helps me in this area is to meditate on what God has done for me, rather than what I have done or not done right or wrong. It helps to spend time in prayer and in Scripture, reminding myself of the truth. And it helps to talk to wise and comforting women in my life who can empathize and affirm the truth.
It is just as sinful to be depressed for two months over a small transgression as it is to lie, cheat, and steal, and callously expect God's grace to cover it. Self-condemnation is just as sinful as licentiousness, and both fall to the sides of the path of grace and love on which God desires us to walk. I am thankful that through recent struggles, He has revealed to me my sins of self-reproach, so that I may rely more on His strength than my own, and so that I may grow in my spiritual walk.
There are many so-called Christians running around who are licentious, having reckless disregard for God’s law. They sleep around, lie, and cheat, declaring that “It’s all covered by the blood of Christ.” These folks believe that because God, by His grace, forgives us our sins when we confess, that they have the license to commit whatever sin they choose. They disregard the consequences, erroneously thinking that all will be well because of God’s grace.
The fallacy in this type of thinking is obvious to some. Paul says in Romans 6:1-4:
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
True believers in Christ Jesus have a new life, a new spirit, one that grieves over sin and longs to be more like Christ. So we recognize that licentiousness is dangerous and has unpleasant consequences, both temporally and eternally.
However, many of us do not think about the opposite end of the spectrum: the sin of self-condemnation. Guilt can be a positive feeling as it spurs us to repent, but feeling overly guilty is just as sinful as licentiousness.
I used to think that self-condemnation was merely synonymous with poor self-esteem. I knew it was a sin to be self-critical, to dislike my personality or my appearance. God made me the way I am, and I am beautiful in His eyes. This statement is difficult to internalize as it is, and I am learning that in addition to poor self-esteem, self-condemnation entails feeling overly guilty, remorseful, and self-critical over past sin.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:10:
10Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
While Biblical repentance includes feelings of Godly sorrow, it does not mean feeling overly self-critical and regretful for one’s thoughts and actions. Self-condemnation can erroneously make us believe that we are in control of ourselves rather than believing the truth that God is in control, and it denies His power of grace and forgiveness. Self-reproach can lead to relying on our own strength to “just try harder” or on our own power to punish ourselves for our sins (how often do we sin and then feel guilty and commit five other sins immediately after?), rather than growing closer to Him and turning to Him with our needs.
I have learned personally that I have a weakness in the area of self-condemnation, and Satan can use that weakness to put a wedge in my relationship with God. While I know intellectually that I am forgiven, because “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” (Romans 8:1), at times I feel very regretful for past actions and choices. I am a perfectionist, and while I am learning to give myself grace, I often feel that if I am not perfect, I am a failure.
Intellectually, I know that I cannot be perfectly righteous in my own strength, and that I need God’s power and the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. Yet I hate myself when I err or sin. But this self-loathing is not what God wants.
What helps me in this area is to meditate on what God has done for me, rather than what I have done or not done right or wrong. It helps to spend time in prayer and in Scripture, reminding myself of the truth. And it helps to talk to wise and comforting women in my life who can empathize and affirm the truth.
It is just as sinful to be depressed for two months over a small transgression as it is to lie, cheat, and steal, and callously expect God's grace to cover it. Self-condemnation is just as sinful as licentiousness, and both fall to the sides of the path of grace and love on which God desires us to walk. I am thankful that through recent struggles, He has revealed to me my sins of self-reproach, so that I may rely more on His strength than my own, and so that I may grow in my spiritual walk.
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