Ninety percent of what I do takes place in my head. The remaining ten percent comprises the execution stage. I examine many possibilities, take in information, conduct research, weigh the alternatives, decide on the most effective and efficient solution or course of action, and then I execute.
I have mentioned to a few people that my physical attractiveness is a result of this very process. I am fascinated by all topics related to psychology, and the psychology of physical beauty in our culture is no exception. I wanted to know what makes a person attractive in the eyes of others, and what the benefits of attractiveness are (of which there are many, but that is a post for another day).
I read many books on attractiveness, nutrition, fitness, and self-care, including these favorites to which I still refer on a regular basis:
1. Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty by Nancy Etcoff - Etcoff discusses what features contribute to attractiveness and the survival value of beauty.
2. Makeup Makeovers by Robert Jones - Jones presents a how-to guide on makeup application with amazing photo illustrations.
3. Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman - Freedman discusses the benefits of a vegan lifestyle.
4. Strength Training Anatomy by Frederic Delavier - Delavier lists essential free weight exercises for each muscle group in a detailed illustrated guide.
5. Sports Nutrition by Anita Bean - Bean covers the basics of how nutrition contributes to and works together with exercise.
Some basic essentials of female attractiveness include the following:
1. Maintain your ideal weight with a body mass index of 21 and a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7. This is achieved with diet, exercise, youth, and a not having children.
2. Work to have clear, dewy skin that is free of acne and wrinkles by using gentle soap, exfoliate regularly, use eye cream and moisturizer every day, and use good quality makeup that matches your skin tone.
3. Eyes should be large, clear, and sparkly. Avoid alcohol and drugs, get adequate amounts of sleep, use luminizing concealer and shadow, and use eye whitening drops if necessary.
4. Have long, glossy hair that looks feminine by taking your B vitamins and using conditioners and creams.
5. Get straight white teeth with braces, veneers, and/or bleaching strips, and remember to floss. Lips look best when full and hydrated. Dark lipstick can age you drastically, so aim to use lighter colors on your lips.
6. Develop curves in all the right places (back, waist, hips, buttocks, legs, and arms) with exercise, proper nutrition (NOT with dieting, but as a lifestyle), exercise, eating healthy, and exercise - especially weight training, which so many women neglect. I have never been as secure about my body image as when I concentrate on strength training and bodybuilding.
7. Strive for symmetrical facial features by using artful makeup techniques or plastic surgery.
8. Get self-confident by finding friends who are encouraging and can help you achieve your full potential.
9. Increase your energy levels by exercising regularly, eating plenty of slow-digesting carbs, fruits, and vegetables, and by taking a multivitamin.
10. Get that je ne sais quoi by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and constantly seeking to build your relationship with God.
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Je Ne Sais Quoi
A friend told me this story:
“I was sitting in an airport, and a man came by and told me, ‘You are very beautiful. I mean, you are an attractive woman, but there is something else about you that makes you extraordinarily lovely.’ I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t say this to him, but having Jesus in you makes you very attractive to some people. I just thanked him and he went on his way.”
I sometimes assume that people who aren’t Christians are turned off by those who are, in part because they are different, and differences invariably cause rifts, and in part because Christians themselves are often the worst evidence for Christianity. Those who call themselves Christians are often hypocrites or overly religious, cramming God down the throats of all they encounter.
But I have been surprised by the number of people who seem drawn to me, particularly as I grow in my faith. I became a Christian about four and a half years ago, and the longer I have spent on my journey, the more I die to myself and live for Christ. He is truly changing me from the inside out. It is often difficult for me to see myself as others do, but I can tell that over the past few years, people approach and respond to me differently than they did in the past. And my sense is that they notice a quality in me that they may not understand, but that I know is Jesus.
I spend a lot of time working out at the gym, and I have been passionate about exercise and a member of a gym for about ten years. For many years, though I was at the gym every evening, no one ever talked to me or approached me. That was fine with me, as I am an introvert, and I am at the gym to work out, not to socialize. And I never really gave it much thought one way or the other.
But increasingly over the past several years, people have begun approaching me, especially in the past couple of years. Granted, there are likely other contributing factors, but I cannot help but think that people see something in me that was not there before. As my identity in Christ grows, I am more confident and more at peace. People seem very intrigued by me, or by the qualities Jesus imbues in me. This is not to give myself props; there is nothing particularly special about me. I am not drastically different than I was years ago. Except God.
I feel that God is using me somehow. He has made me more approachable (often much to my chagrin; if you’ll remember from a previous post how I loathe small talk) so that He can work through me.
I have had some amusing encounters, one of which I will share with you in another post. I am not entirely sure how God is using me, but I sense that He is.
Incidentally, and while I’m on the topic of what God is doing in and through me, I have been thinking a lot about spiritual warfare. I have noticed how the evil one uses my sin and temptations to sin to make me think negative, self-deprecating thoughts about myself. It dawned on me that instead of jumping on that downward spiral, I can instead remind myself that I am a daughter of God. I am His beloved child, and nothing I do can make Him love me any less. He is there for me when I call to Him. This is not an excuse for licentiousness, but it is a comfort when I begin believing the lies about myself that I am weak and worthless.
The way that temptation and sin gets a hold on me is when I tell myself I am powerless. I start to believe that I am no good because I am tempted to be disobedient. But instead of being hard on myself, I now see that I need to come to God and tell Him I need his help. I need to believe the truth, that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
“I was sitting in an airport, and a man came by and told me, ‘You are very beautiful. I mean, you are an attractive woman, but there is something else about you that makes you extraordinarily lovely.’ I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t say this to him, but having Jesus in you makes you very attractive to some people. I just thanked him and he went on his way.”
I sometimes assume that people who aren’t Christians are turned off by those who are, in part because they are different, and differences invariably cause rifts, and in part because Christians themselves are often the worst evidence for Christianity. Those who call themselves Christians are often hypocrites or overly religious, cramming God down the throats of all they encounter.
But I have been surprised by the number of people who seem drawn to me, particularly as I grow in my faith. I became a Christian about four and a half years ago, and the longer I have spent on my journey, the more I die to myself and live for Christ. He is truly changing me from the inside out. It is often difficult for me to see myself as others do, but I can tell that over the past few years, people approach and respond to me differently than they did in the past. And my sense is that they notice a quality in me that they may not understand, but that I know is Jesus.
I spend a lot of time working out at the gym, and I have been passionate about exercise and a member of a gym for about ten years. For many years, though I was at the gym every evening, no one ever talked to me or approached me. That was fine with me, as I am an introvert, and I am at the gym to work out, not to socialize. And I never really gave it much thought one way or the other.
But increasingly over the past several years, people have begun approaching me, especially in the past couple of years. Granted, there are likely other contributing factors, but I cannot help but think that people see something in me that was not there before. As my identity in Christ grows, I am more confident and more at peace. People seem very intrigued by me, or by the qualities Jesus imbues in me. This is not to give myself props; there is nothing particularly special about me. I am not drastically different than I was years ago. Except God.
I feel that God is using me somehow. He has made me more approachable (often much to my chagrin; if you’ll remember from a previous post how I loathe small talk) so that He can work through me.
I have had some amusing encounters, one of which I will share with you in another post. I am not entirely sure how God is using me, but I sense that He is.
Incidentally, and while I’m on the topic of what God is doing in and through me, I have been thinking a lot about spiritual warfare. I have noticed how the evil one uses my sin and temptations to sin to make me think negative, self-deprecating thoughts about myself. It dawned on me that instead of jumping on that downward spiral, I can instead remind myself that I am a daughter of God. I am His beloved child, and nothing I do can make Him love me any less. He is there for me when I call to Him. This is not an excuse for licentiousness, but it is a comfort when I begin believing the lies about myself that I am weak and worthless.
The way that temptation and sin gets a hold on me is when I tell myself I am powerless. I start to believe that I am no good because I am tempted to be disobedient. But instead of being hard on myself, I now see that I need to come to God and tell Him I need his help. I need to believe the truth, that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
You Are What You Wear
Though I do not wish to have children, I often think about what kind of mom I would be. Of course, it is easy to idealize my parental attitudes and behaviors when I am merely hypothesizing. In practice, I’d probably be a basket case.
There are so many choices that parents make that drastically alter a child’s life. Do I perpetuate lies to my child year after year about Santa, the fictitious gent who advocates obesity and consumerism? Do I allow my child to consume artery-clogging, hormone-altering chick nugs and big macs for the sake of convenience? Do I sacrifice my time, identity in the workforce, and energy in order to home school my children, granting them a superior education vis a vis the public school system?
Most notably is the question of what my child would wear. Do I impart style or frugality? Appearance is everything in our culture, so do I teach my child to use the system to his or her advantage, or to rebel against it?
I am an advocate of allowing children to make their own age-appropriate choices in order to foster independence, creativity, and critical thinking skills. I like the idea of allowing my child to choose his or her own outfits and ensembles. Yet, I would still be the parent purchasing the clothing. Would I help cultivate my child’s sense of style?
Just as there are websites dedicated to fashion, to my horror, I discovered a website dedicated to fashionable babies. I do not know whether to be amused or appalled.
There are so many choices that parents make that drastically alter a child’s life. Do I perpetuate lies to my child year after year about Santa, the fictitious gent who advocates obesity and consumerism? Do I allow my child to consume artery-clogging, hormone-altering chick nugs and big macs for the sake of convenience? Do I sacrifice my time, identity in the workforce, and energy in order to home school my children, granting them a superior education vis a vis the public school system?
Most notably is the question of what my child would wear. Do I impart style or frugality? Appearance is everything in our culture, so do I teach my child to use the system to his or her advantage, or to rebel against it?
I am an advocate of allowing children to make their own age-appropriate choices in order to foster independence, creativity, and critical thinking skills. I like the idea of allowing my child to choose his or her own outfits and ensembles. Yet, I would still be the parent purchasing the clothing. Would I help cultivate my child’s sense of style?
Just as there are websites dedicated to fashion, to my horror, I discovered a website dedicated to fashionable babies. I do not know whether to be amused or appalled.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Buyer Beware Part II
When I was a teen, I longed for my mom to instill wisdom and advice about dating, cosmetics, fashion, and life. Sadly, she was not able to impart any such advice, likely becuase she simply did not have the knowledge to give. And perhaps I did not know how to articulate my needs to her.
So, my life has been a constant quest of trial and error to figure out what works.
As for dating, romantic relationships are surely my Achilles heel. While I have the ability to discern other people's relational issues with clarity, and while I am highly insightful about others' relationships, I feel inept when it comes to my own. I wonder why the knowledge and self-confidence that serve me so well in other facets of my life seem to fail me when it comes to my own interpersonal (mis)adventures with men.
On the other hand, I have found a few things in life that work. It is not much, but it is something.
1. Women's Ultra Mega Vitamins by GNC: I am a vegetarian, so I like to supplement my diet with extra vitamins. I take one or two vitamins every day, and these are the best I have found. When I switch to another brand, I feel lethargic, and when I switch back to the GNC brand, I feel energetic and healthy. I buy the kind without iron, as it can mess with my digestive system. A bottle of 180 caplets, which lasts 6 months if you take one per day, is $33.
2. Time Wise Age Fighting Moisturizer by Mary Kay: I am very skeptical of more expensive brands, as many of them are not superior to generic brands. I am picky about what I put on my face as I have sensitive skin and tend to break out easily. My old roommate is a Mary Kay sales rep, and while she never pushed the products on me, she does have amazing skin. This lotion makes my skin smooth and soft, and not oily at all. Even though I tend to have dry skin, I choose the combination to oily skin version of this lotion. I did break out a bit during the first week of use, but my roommate told me that any time you switch moisturizers, the impurities in your skin will come out. I have not had any problems since, and I love the way my skin looks and feels. A 3 oz. bottle is $22.
3. Time Wise Firming Eye Cream by Mary Kay: This product is by far the best eye cream I have tried. The skin under my eyes used to be dark and puffy, and I always felt self-conscious about it. Since using this eye cream, I have no puffyness and very little darkness under my eyes. I wish my mom had told me as a teenager to use eye cream every night, as it truly does make a difference, especially when used long-term. I know two women in their forties who have used eye cream since they were teens, and the skin under their eyes looks so youthful and smooth. You are never too young to use moisturizer and eye cream. This product is much higher quality than drugstore brands, yet it is not quite as pricey as what you can buy at Sephora. A 0.5 ounce bottle costs $30.
So, my life has been a constant quest of trial and error to figure out what works.
As for dating, romantic relationships are surely my Achilles heel. While I have the ability to discern other people's relational issues with clarity, and while I am highly insightful about others' relationships, I feel inept when it comes to my own. I wonder why the knowledge and self-confidence that serve me so well in other facets of my life seem to fail me when it comes to my own interpersonal (mis)adventures with men.
On the other hand, I have found a few things in life that work. It is not much, but it is something.
1. Women's Ultra Mega Vitamins by GNC: I am a vegetarian, so I like to supplement my diet with extra vitamins. I take one or two vitamins every day, and these are the best I have found. When I switch to another brand, I feel lethargic, and when I switch back to the GNC brand, I feel energetic and healthy. I buy the kind without iron, as it can mess with my digestive system. A bottle of 180 caplets, which lasts 6 months if you take one per day, is $33.
2. Time Wise Age Fighting Moisturizer by Mary Kay: I am very skeptical of more expensive brands, as many of them are not superior to generic brands. I am picky about what I put on my face as I have sensitive skin and tend to break out easily. My old roommate is a Mary Kay sales rep, and while she never pushed the products on me, she does have amazing skin. This lotion makes my skin smooth and soft, and not oily at all. Even though I tend to have dry skin, I choose the combination to oily skin version of this lotion. I did break out a bit during the first week of use, but my roommate told me that any time you switch moisturizers, the impurities in your skin will come out. I have not had any problems since, and I love the way my skin looks and feels. A 3 oz. bottle is $22.
3. Time Wise Firming Eye Cream by Mary Kay: This product is by far the best eye cream I have tried. The skin under my eyes used to be dark and puffy, and I always felt self-conscious about it. Since using this eye cream, I have no puffyness and very little darkness under my eyes. I wish my mom had told me as a teenager to use eye cream every night, as it truly does make a difference, especially when used long-term. I know two women in their forties who have used eye cream since they were teens, and the skin under their eyes looks so youthful and smooth. You are never too young to use moisturizer and eye cream. This product is much higher quality than drugstore brands, yet it is not quite as pricey as what you can buy at Sephora. A 0.5 ounce bottle costs $30.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Supersize Me
A long time ago, I was institutionalized in a place called High School. It was a time when I smelled like teen spirit, I adored flannel shirts, and I listened to music that my mother despised from Seattle-based bands. There was an interesting girl in many of my classes who was both academically brilliant and artistically talented, and I admired her, but both of us were quiet and shy, and sadly, I never really got to know her.
However, through the magic of facebook, we are now “friends,” and she writes a witty and insightful blog called Unruly Helpmeet that I read while I should be working. She posted a commentary on body weight and size, and I can totally relate to her thoughts, struggles, and frustrations. Thank you for your authenticity, Helpmeet.
I, too, hated my body in high school and college, which was curvy in all the wrong ways (or so I perceived at the time), and oh, how I wanted the stick body with no hips and a teeny waist that my skinny friends had. One or two negative and critical remarks from dumb boys reverberated in my head, and I constantly felt worthless about my physique.
Beginning in high school and for the past 14 years, my driver’s license has read 5’3” and 130 pounds, but there have been times when I have weighed 30 pounds more and 30 pounds less than that since I was a teenager.
The pain of always feeling inferior, the constant comparisons, the incessant self-deprecating thoughts are so damaging.
As to Helpmeet’s comments about clothing and makeup, I still have no sense of style. I am 30 years old, and I get to wear jeans to work, and I shop in the junior's department because (1) I don't know how to buy grown-up clothes or put together actual outfits, and (2) I can never find women's clothes that fit me anyway (women’s jeans all look like mom jeans on me, pants have hugely long crotches, horrid tapered legs, or God forbid, pleats, and a lot of it feels too baggy).
The little I know about clothes and makeup, I did not learn until the past few years, mostly by actually reading books on relevant cultural issues like how to apply makeup. The nice thing about being a bookworm is that most of the answers to life I have found by reading, thereby avoiding embarrassment from asking others for information and having them wonder what is wrong with me that I don’t know these things.
Having faith in God and reminding myself that my identity comes from Him and not from society's airbrushed ideals helps.
However, through the magic of facebook, we are now “friends,” and she writes a witty and insightful blog called Unruly Helpmeet that I read while I should be working. She posted a commentary on body weight and size, and I can totally relate to her thoughts, struggles, and frustrations. Thank you for your authenticity, Helpmeet.
I, too, hated my body in high school and college, which was curvy in all the wrong ways (or so I perceived at the time), and oh, how I wanted the stick body with no hips and a teeny waist that my skinny friends had. One or two negative and critical remarks from dumb boys reverberated in my head, and I constantly felt worthless about my physique.
Beginning in high school and for the past 14 years, my driver’s license has read 5’3” and 130 pounds, but there have been times when I have weighed 30 pounds more and 30 pounds less than that since I was a teenager.
After college, I got into working out seriously, and I became a vegetarian and then a vegan, and I'm in great shape now, but it never feels like I am good enough, thin enough, toned enough. I physically push myself to the limit every night in the gym, and I never eat junk, but I still have nagging thoughts that I should have done ten more minutes of cardio, should have added twenty more pounds on the squat bar, should have put less peanut butter on that sandwich.
The pain of always feeling inferior, the constant comparisons, the incessant self-deprecating thoughts are so damaging.
As to Helpmeet’s comments about clothing and makeup, I still have no sense of style. I am 30 years old, and I get to wear jeans to work, and I shop in the junior's department because (1) I don't know how to buy grown-up clothes or put together actual outfits, and (2) I can never find women's clothes that fit me anyway (women’s jeans all look like mom jeans on me, pants have hugely long crotches, horrid tapered legs, or God forbid, pleats, and a lot of it feels too baggy).
The little I know about clothes and makeup, I did not learn until the past few years, mostly by actually reading books on relevant cultural issues like how to apply makeup. The nice thing about being a bookworm is that most of the answers to life I have found by reading, thereby avoiding embarrassment from asking others for information and having them wonder what is wrong with me that I don’t know these things.
Sometimes I wish that one of my well-meaning friends would turn me in to Stacy and Clinton so I could get some real advice and a clothing budget that I’d never be able to afford while working my current job in non-profit. But I’m afraid of (1) giving up the clothes that I actually feel okay in, (2) being forced to shop, (3) having to actually wear grown-up clothes, (4) having to appear on television, and (5) having my hair cut. I admit that I'm fearful of uncertainty and change.
I don't know the answers. I don’t know how we learn to feel better about ourselves (or at least not feel guilty that we feel badly about our appearance on top of hating our bodies). I don’t know how we stop the perpetual comparisons (superiority: “at least I’m not as fat as her” or inferiority: “I wish my thighs looked like that in jeans”).
Having faith in God and reminding myself that my identity comes from Him and not from society's airbrushed ideals helps.
But it will always be a struggle.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Am I Fat?
I foolishly stepped on the scale this morning after a hiatus of a month of not weighing myself (was forced to at the doctor’s office last month), and I was so discouraged to see that I had gained more weight than I’m willing to put in writing. Now I remember why I keep defenestrating my scales. Sure, sure, Jesus loves me and all. . . but I think I subconsciously assume that He loves me in spite of my body, and I forget that He made my body just the way it is. I feel like such a hypocrite after all those discussions with my teenage discipleship group about finding our identities in Christ, not in worldly things like a silly (LIFE-ENDING, OMG I AM PANICKING) number on a scale.
Well, this article makes me feel a little better. It shows Faith Hill before and after she was airbrushed for the cover of Redbook.
P.S. de·fen·es·trate (dē-fěn'ĭ-strāt')
tr.v. de·fen·es·trat·ed, de·fen·es·trat·ing, de·fen·es·trates
To throw out of a window.
Well, this article makes me feel a little better. It shows Faith Hill before and after she was airbrushed for the cover of Redbook.
P.S. de·fen·es·trate (dē-fěn'ĭ-strāt')
tr.v. de·fen·es·trat·ed, de·fen·es·trat·ing, de·fen·es·trates
To throw out of a window.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Makeup
I have recently become interested in (aka obsessed with) makeup, as in cosmetics. I have arrived at the realization that it takes tons of expensive cosmetics, brushes and tools, and loads of time to achieve a perfect, “natural look” that makes it appear as if you are not wearing any makeup at all.
According to one “how to” website, you need the following items to achieve a natural look with your makeup: blush, brush, concealer, eye shadow, eye liner, face powder, foundation, lip gloss, lipstick, lip liner, makeup brushes, and mascara.
This is no small undertaking, folks.
After 18 years of mostly failed experimentation with makeup, I have finally realized that there is an art form to it. I was finally convinced of this fact after perusing books on how to apply makeup.
I am fascinated by psychology, especially as it relates to culture, so I began to read research that addressed the question, “What is beauty?” I suppose if I’m painfully honest, I will admit that I wanted to learn secrets that would help me to appear more attractive. While surfing Amazon, some of the “So you’d like to. . .” lists caught my eye. Some of them not only addressed beauty in a sociological sense, but I discovered many how-to books on the application of cosmetics. I also discovered that in any given chain bookstore, there are dozens of books on how to apply makeup. You’d think I would have gotten the hint sooner that this is no easy enterprise. But when I saw the volume of literature, the light bulb finally clicked on.
I am overwhelmed by the number of brands, colors, and types of makeup in the supermarket alone, where you go to purchase food, not beauty products. I have to carefully avoid this aisle so as to avoid brain overload. There is simply too much to choose from: light, dark, shimmer, matte, pressed powder, loose powder, liquid, cream, pencil, volumizing, lengthening, etc. ad nauseum. Incidentally, I feel the same way about the shampoo aisle. One major problem in our society is the availability of too many choices, but that is a commentary for another day.
Have you ever entered Sephora or a similar makeup boutique? It’s as if you’ve stepped into an alternate universe, a rip in the fabric of reality where heaven and hell coexist. There are so many pretty sparkly things. Yet there are so, so many pretty, sparkly things.
Quality of makeup does matter. You get what you pay for, which makes me feel some passive-aggressive anger, as I am a bargain shopper and wish I could tell you that the drugstore stuff is just as good.
I have looked at my face so many times in the mirror that I can not possibly begin to be objective about how I look, makeup or sans makeup.
I suspect this is true of most women. Do you see women and wonder how in the world they convinced themselves that they looked presentable (too much blush, too much eye shadow, unnatural foundation)? Am I one of those women?
This woman achieved a natural look with plenty of makeup: foundation, concealer, peach eye shadow on her lid and a darker color in the crease, mascara, highlighter on her brows, lip liner, and some nude colored lipstick. She skipped the blush to make the look appear “natural.” See how easy it is to make it look like you’re wearing nothing on your face?
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