Advertising and Masculinity

Does our society really view marriage as emasculating? Dodge apparently thinks so.

I went to the movies last night. I get really annoyed that the movie theater charges me for a ticket and then they proceed to pollute my mental environment with advertisements. Not only did I have to sit through fifteen minutes of ads prior to the twenty minutes of movie previews, I was also handed a print advertisement with my ticket purchase. If the advertisers are going to pay the theater, why should I have to pay them, as well? (This is how television works. Granted, we pay a fee for the television service like cable or satellite, but television shows themselves are paid for by the advertisers, not the viewers.)

One particular pre-preview-pre-movie commercial, apparently originally aired during the Superbowl, which I missed since I do not watch television, caught my attention.

This commercial shows various men’s serious-looking faces, while a narrator states the following:

I will get up and walk the dog at 6:30 am.
I will eat some fruit as part of my breakfast.
I will shave.
I will clean the sink after I shave.
I will be at work by 8 am.
I will sit through 2 hour meetings.
I will say yes when you want me to say yes.
I will be quiet when you don't want to hear me say no.
I will take your call.
I will listen to your opinion of my friends.
I will listen to your friend's opinion of my friends.
I will be civil to your mother.
I will put the seat down.
I will separate the recycling.
I will carry your lip balm.
I will watch your vampire TV shows with you.
I will take my socks off before getting into bed.
I will put my underwear in the basket.
And because I do this...I drive the car I want to drive. Charger.
Man’s last stand.
(The text on the screen at the end reads, “Man’s Last Stand.”)

The Dodge commercial’s implied message is that men silently put up with women’s endless lists of unpleasant demands, and thus must exert their manhood by putting their feet down with their wives in order to drive a masculine car (sure, whether a Dodge Charger is up for debate, but let‘s focus on one thing at a time).

In other words, the commercial implies that men are emasculated in a marriage. Examples of this emasculation are withholding their views (I will be quiet), carrying makeup (lip balm), and, heaven forbid, paying attention to their wives (I will take your call). Men can then regain their masculinity by number one, standing up to their wives (Man’s last stand), and number two, buying a supposedly masculine car.

Incidentally, I do find it a bit strange that many of these statements seem unpleasant, like sitting through meetings, faking nice to friends and in laws, and watching vampire shows (ugh, don’t get me started), and couched in the middle of all these distasteful activities is the statement, “I will take your call.” Since when is taking a call from one’s wife an objectionable activity? That seems sad to me, as I would like to believe that many spouses enjoy each other’s company.

Does our society really believe that marriage is so emasculating that men have to take a final stand against the women they marry? Is marriage so unpleasant that men hate doing things that make their wives’ lives a bit easier? Why get married if women are really so pesky and demanding? Why get married if you will feel like less of a man for contributing to the income and affairs of a household? Is buying a car really going to make anyone any happier or more manly?

I Think

A friend of mine, who is probably on the verge of getting an alias on my blog, sent me an email. “Penny for your thoughts,” he wrote.

I think that the following questions are music to an INTJs ears: “What do you think?” “What’s your opinion?” “What is your input?”

I think that pharmaceutical companies are scary. I refer to them as Big Pharma. Drug sales are fueled by marketing, not efficacy or safety. In other words, the best-selling drug in our country is the one on which Big Pharma spent the most money advertising. It has nothing to do with how good or safe the drug is, or what its side effects are.

I think advertising pollutes our mental environment, Big Pharma being a prime example. In general, advertising (think of print ads in magazines or commercials on the “electronic bookshelf” you have your furniture pointed at) promotes dissatisfaction.

I think that some bands are good even though they are popular and mainstream. But sometimes I am a snob and I don’t *want* to like them because they are popular and mainstream. I am the same way with books. I totally won’t read Twilight or Harry Potter.

I think that the Keurig they put into the office next to mine (for anyone to use) is going to take my caffeine addiction to the next level.

I think a lot about how to constantly change up my workouts (to keep them interesting and to enable myself to make progress and not plateau). A person cannot really get stronger and get leaner at the same time. I mean, it depends on the person’s existing body composition, but especially for people who already have little body fat, it is difficult because it’s like trying to gain weight and lose weight at the same time. Yet, I can never quite decide which I want.

I suppose if I had to choose, I prefer to get stronger. To me, it is easier and more fun. When I lose weight (which I am not at all trying to do), I feel weak, and I don’t like it. Conversely, when I am able to lift more weight, I feel so strong and empowered. Incidentally, over the past two years since I learned to work out properly, I have gained a lot of muscle, but I have not gained any weight. Every woman on the planet struggles with body image (thanks in part to advertising and the promotion of an unrealistic ideal), but I have never felt as secure in my body image as when I started to weight train properly and get strong.

Many women, I think, underestimate their strength. I see women who military press 10 pound dumbbells. “Your shoulders are stronger than that!,” I think. Sometimes I want to go up to them and encourage them, but I never do. That is how I became stronger and felt better about myself, though. I had people who handed me more weight than I thought I could lift, they encouraged me, and I was able to lift it.

I think teenagers are very fascinating. They are in a stage of life where they are searching for identity. They are no longer as authentic as young children are, yet often, teens are still more authentic than many adults. Teenagers have an intriguing balance of idealism and cynicism. They expect and thirst for a lot out of other people and out of life, yet they mistrust people, especially adults (many times rightfully so).

Teens experience all the same insecurities and struggles that adults face, yet they do not have the experience to understand how time changes things. I think that most adults marginalize and discount teenagers, yet often the teens are right (e.g. “I shouldn’t have to do this homework, which is really just busy work, because it is a waste of time that I could be using more productively, and I’m never going to use this crap in real life.” Yes, that actually is true.).

Rebelliousness versus Obedience

Sometimes it is difficult to be a Christian. I want to hang onto the world, worldliness, and at the same time, I want the benefits of being one of God’s children.

I like to listen to secular music. I have listened to it all my life, and I enjoy punk, hard rock, and electronica. I want to date “like a normal person.” I spent 14 years (from my first boyfriend at age 13 to the time I became a Christian at age 27) dating without knowing how to date in a Godly way or have healthy relationships, and it is difficult to change old patterns. I want to watch mainstream movies or read pulp fiction because these things are entertaining.

However, trying to hold on to worldliness is ultimately to my detriment. Secular music contributes to my use of bad language and a false understanding of love. Trying to hang onto old ways of dating does not glorify God, and it only causes stress and distance from God. What seems glamorous or appealing proves empty and unsettling. Watching mainstream movies promotes dissatisfaction and disappointment. Relationships in mainstream media are portrayed as if another person can be your everything and can totally fulfill you, but this is not reality.

In our society, we are bombarded with fairy tales. We see men who desire and idolize women; they are the rescuers, saving us from our “real life” that is full of hassles. We see women who are airbrushed beyond what is realistic. We see advertisements and listen to songs that promote sexual and sensual temptation. And we want to hang onto these fairy tales, because they are alluring. Movies and advertisements promise a happy ending as a result of being lustful (“sex equals love”) and greedy (“buying stuff equals happiness”).

God says through Paul in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” When we submit our wills to the control of the Holy Spirit, we gain these “fruits,” or benefits. Often, I want to follow my own will and live a worldly life, yet I want to reap the benefits of the Spirit anyway. But in reality, Godliness and obedience, tough as it may seem at times, increase peace and joy.

Elisabeth Elliot, in “The Path of Loneliness,” writes, “Sometimes we prefer to struggle even when we are quite clear about what we ought to do. Struggling in such a case only postpones obedience. . . Sooner or later someone is bound to come along and say just what we hoped to hear, ‘Go with your feelings.’ This may seem the easiest way until we try it, whereupon we find that feelings are always canceling each other out – which ones shall we go with?. . . [but] those who go with feelings will never inherit the kingdom of God.”

I can always find someone who will tell me what I want to hear, who will say what I need to give me license to do what I want to do outside of God’s will. Several people have told me lately, “Follow your heart.” That could mean that I choose to follow God, because Jesus in my heart enables me to be obedient and to love others. Or it could mean that I follow my sinful heart, my rebellious desires.

The deep desire of my heart is to follow God and to be obedient. While this path does not make life easier, it makes life simpler.

Yet it is easy to get distracted, to get caught up in the moment, to be influenced by worldliness and to falsely believe that I want worldly things.

Elliot writes of a woman who is joyful in her singleness. Elliot asks the woman if she is lonely, and the woman replies, “Oh no. You see, I have a sense of expectancy every day. What does the Lord want to do with me today? I have no agenda of my own.”

What must it be like to wake up every morning with a wholehearted acceptance of God’s agenda, giving Him my day, my heart, my obedience? I so desire to operate at this level. It must come with such a sense of freedom and love and peace. So why would I keep holding onto worldliness and rebellion?

Well, if I were perfectly obedient, I would not need Christ. Paul writes in Philippians 1:6, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I am a work in progress, and sanctification will continue until the day I die. God does not expect me to be perfect right now.

You Are What You Wear

Though I do not wish to have children, I often think about what kind of mom I would be. Of course, it is easy to idealize my parental attitudes and behaviors when I am merely hypothesizing. In practice, I’d probably be a basket case.

There are so many choices that parents make that drastically alter a child’s life. Do I perpetuate lies to my child year after year about Santa, the fictitious gent who advocates obesity and consumerism? Do I allow my child to consume artery-clogging, hormone-altering chick nugs and big macs for the sake of convenience? Do I sacrifice my time, identity in the workforce, and energy in order to home school my children, granting them a superior education vis a vis the public school system?

Most notably is the question of what my child would wear. Do I impart style or frugality? Appearance is everything in our culture, so do I teach my child to use the system to his or her advantage, or to rebel against it?

I am an advocate of allowing children to make their own age-appropriate choices in order to foster independence, creativity, and critical thinking skills. I like the idea of allowing my child to choose his or her own outfits and ensembles. Yet, I would still be the parent purchasing the clothing. Would I help cultivate my child’s sense of style?

Just as there are websites dedicated to fashion, to my horror, I discovered a website dedicated to fashionable babies. I do not know whether to be amused or appalled.

Douglas Fir Fields Forever

As I was waiting to check out at the grocery store a few days ago, I overheard the woman in front of me complaining to the cashier that no one seemed to be smiling. The woman wondered why, just days before a festive holiday such as Christmas, everyone seemed grumpy and impatient. The cashier, who was simply trying to make it through the day, wearily attempted to engage in the conversation. The cashier agreed and replied, “I almost wore my Christmas earrings today. I have some dangling Santas and Christmas trees.”

I immediately piped up. “You ARE wearing Christmas earrings,” I noted. She was wearing gold crosses in her earlobes. You could see the realization slowly dawning across her face as she thought about that.

Just today as I was checking out, another cashier at a different store asked me if I was ready for Christmas. I thought of Jesus, the Christmas Eve services that I am looking forward to attending, and time with my family and boyfriend that I will enjoy, and I replied in the affirmative. I then politely returned the question, and she began telling me how she had all her Christmas shopping done, though she had not wrapped any presents yet. She expounded on her debt and stress over Christmas, but concluded by saying, “It will be worth it to see the looks on my grandkids’ faces when they open their presents.”

It struck me that the focus of Christmas to this woman is shopping and the (albeit empty and meaningless) fulfillment of young ones via material things.

Why does the question, “Are you ready for Christmas?” mean in our society, “Have you finished your shopping?” I find the question and its implied intent odd, and it gives me pause. The natural small talk of our society around this holy-day centers not on God’s amazing and profound love for us, and the sacrifice of His precious son for a wretch like me. It seems to be centered on consumerism, materialism, and false happiness.

As you may know, I protest consumerism and do not buy gifts for anyone for Christmas. I also do not watch television, in part because advertising and commercials pollute my mental environment. While watching television, we are bombarded with messages that essentially persuade us that stuff will make us happy. If we buy the right car/beer/diet pills, we will be comfortable, we will be attractive, we will meet the right woman, and we will be perceived as successful.

God makes a lot of promises to us. But a life of comfort, attractiveness, love, and success are not on His list. And certainly no earthly things will satisfy us. God says to us through Matthew,
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21).

Fulfillment, love, joy, and peace are found in Christ alone. And what better time to thank God for Himself than at Christmas time, the time when He sent his son to live and die on our behalf? After all, Christmas is still Christmas without presents and a tree. But without Christ, it’s just -mas.

What Would Jesus Buy?

This may come as news to some, but the holidays are not just about buying crap. In fact, they do not have to be about buying anything.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and while many are planning their meals, buying their turkeys and tofurkeys, cleaning their houses for guests, and dreading the re-emergence of family dynamics and old grievances, I have been pontificating on what it means to be thankful. You may argue, not entirely erroneously, that Thanksgiving is really about some pilgrims and a big rock. But according to Wikipedia, the ultimate source for reliable and well-researched information, before Thanksgiving was a secular holiday, it was originally meant as a special occasion on which to give thanks to God.

I have heard virtually nothing in popular media about thankfulness as we approach the feast day. However, much as I try to avoid popular media, I have been bombarded by references to Black Friday. Does the name sound ominous to you? I cringe every time I hear the term.

Somehow in our society, we have managed to turn two major holidays (originally meant as occasions on which to thank God and celebrate Him) and the entire interceding month into a consumeristic nightmare. Why is our society so eager to numb out on shopping malls, super marts, and discount stores? Does it seem strange to you that talking about God in popular media is mildly taboo, yet it is perfectly acceptable to convince the masses that happiness is found in a clearance sale?

Does anyone remember that Thanksgiving is about being thankful for the blessings in our lives, and that Christmas is about the birth of Christ, the almighty God born on Earth as a living, breathing infant, poor and homeless?

Personally, I have protested consumerism for years, particularly around the holidays. As a result, my stress levels are at an all-time low, and I am more able to focus on the aspects of the holidays that are important to me. Lately, I have been focused on what I should be doing or not doing, but now is the time to focus on what God has done for me.

The day after Thanksgiving is affectionately known by many as Buy Nothing Day. Participate by not participating. And consider what Thanksgiving and the ensuing days mean to you.

Am I Fat?

I foolishly stepped on the scale this morning after a hiatus of a month of not weighing myself (was forced to at the doctor’s office last month), and I was so discouraged to see that I had gained more weight than I’m willing to put in writing. Now I remember why I keep defenestrating my scales. Sure, sure, Jesus loves me and all. . . but I think I subconsciously assume that He loves me in spite of my body, and I forget that He made my body just the way it is. I feel like such a hypocrite after all those discussions with my teenage discipleship group about finding our identities in Christ, not in worldly things like a silly (LIFE-ENDING, OMG I AM PANICKING) number on a scale.

Well, this article makes me feel a little better. It shows Faith Hill before and after she was airbrushed for the cover of Redbook.

P.S. de·fen·es·trate (dē-fěn'ĭ-strāt')
tr.v. de·fen·es·trat·ed, de·fen·es·trat·ing, de·fen·es·trates
To throw out of a window.

Makeup

I have recently become interested in (aka obsessed with) makeup, as in cosmetics. I have arrived at the realization that it takes tons of expensive cosmetics, brushes and tools, and loads of time to achieve a perfect, “natural look” that makes it appear as if you are not wearing any makeup at all.

According to one “how to” website, you need the following items to achieve a natural look with your makeup: blush, brush, concealer, eye shadow, eye liner, face powder, foundation, lip gloss, lipstick, lip liner, makeup brushes, and mascara.

This is no small undertaking, folks.

After 18 years of mostly failed experimentation with makeup, I have finally realized that there is an art form to it. I was finally convinced of this fact after perusing books on how to apply makeup.

I am fascinated by psychology, especially as it relates to culture, so I began to read research that addressed the question, “What is beauty?” I suppose if I’m painfully honest, I will admit that I wanted to learn secrets that would help me to appear more attractive. While surfing Amazon, some of the “So you’d like to. . .” lists caught my eye. Some of them not only addressed beauty in a sociological sense, but I discovered many how-to books on the application of cosmetics. I also discovered that in any given chain bookstore, there are dozens of books on how to apply makeup. You’d think I would have gotten the hint sooner that this is no easy enterprise. But when I saw the volume of literature, the light bulb finally clicked on.

I am overwhelmed by the number of brands, colors, and types of makeup in the supermarket alone, where you go to purchase food, not beauty products. I have to carefully avoid this aisle so as to avoid brain overload. There is simply too much to choose from: light, dark, shimmer, matte, pressed powder, loose powder, liquid, cream, pencil, volumizing, lengthening, etc. ad nauseum. Incidentally, I feel the same way about the shampoo aisle. One major problem in our society is the availability of too many choices, but that is a commentary for another day.

Have you ever entered Sephora or a similar makeup boutique? It’s as if you’ve stepped into an alternate universe, a rip in the fabric of reality where heaven and hell coexist. There are so many pretty sparkly things. Yet there are so, so many pretty, sparkly things.

Quality of makeup does matter. You get what you pay for, which makes me feel some passive-aggressive anger, as I am a bargain shopper and wish I could tell you that the drugstore stuff is just as good.

I have looked at my face so many times in the mirror that I can not possibly begin to be objective about how I look, makeup or sans makeup.

I suspect this is true of most women. Do you see women and wonder how in the world they convinced themselves that they looked presentable (too much blush, too much eye shadow, unnatural foundation)? Am I one of those women?

This woman achieved a natural look with plenty of makeup: foundation, concealer, peach eye shadow on her lid and a darker color in the crease, mascara, highlighter on her brows, lip liner, and some nude colored lipstick. She skipped the blush to make the look appear “natural.” See how easy it is to make it look like you’re wearing nothing on your face?

Personal Branding

What is your personal brand?

Are you cool, hipster, alt, mainstream, or suburbanite? Are you metrosexual, retro, chic, punk, or who-me-I’m-just-a-normal-guy?

Do you fashion your personal brand after the things you see and hear that you deem cool and unusual? Or do you try to be like everyone else just to fit in and avoid social ridicule and marginalization?

Why do you attempt to make the mainstream parts of yourself more alternative (wear a funky scarf or get a facial piercing to dress up your jeans and Gap sweater), yet you try to downplay your unusual characteristics to make yourself feel like less of a social outcast (dye your hair a socially acceptable non-graying color)?

How is your brand affected by the music you listen to? When people ask what bands you like, do you spout off the most obscure artists you’ve heard of (the doves, your friend’s garage band), do you name drop cool semi-indie bands that many people have heard of but still sound alternative (arcade fire, bloc party), or do you admit to listening to the bands you actually like (britney, nickelback)?


When you last got your hair cut, did you have a certain celeb style in mind?

Is your image intentionally shaped by the beverages you consume? Would you drink a Frappuccino when it is below freezing outside? Do you think your aluminum water bottle is kute? Do you brew your own java in your French press at your desk?

Do you choose your image based on the comments you think others will make about you that day? Do you try to be mainly-mainstream-but-a-little-bit-unique-slash-weird so that you will not be gossiped about and shunned by your peers, yet you will receive compliments and kudos from those around you for your sense of style? How much is your brand shaped by how you think your friends and colleagues will percieve you?

How many logos are you wearing right now? Do you feel self-righteous because you don’t have any visible logos? Or are you justifying your swoosh because they really are the most comfortable shoes for your slightly wide feet and anyway you got them on sale?

Because My Shirt Says So

I am a non-conformist
I am vegan
I am a member of PETA because I want someone to hate and meat-lovers-slash-animal-haters seem like an easy target
I am a metrosexual because I use moisturizing facial products that were tested on animals
I am not your brother
I do not care if you hate me
I listen to indie bands
I wear clothing with strategically placed rips and holes that were added by the manufacturer so that it looks used when it is in fact new
No one ‘gets’ me
I am my own brand
I subvert the confines of suburbia
I just want 2 be human after yall
Hi, my name is Constellation
I am a Scorpio
I am deep. Just read my shirt.
I cut all the logos off my clothing.
The brand name logos on my clothing seemed larger than life and gave me an identity until I clipped them off and put them in a pile on my desk. Then it all seemed like such an insignificant lump of fraying embroidery.
I got paid $20,000 to get this logo shaved into the back of my head.
I wore this tee when I posed in an Absolut ad.
Born again.
I am straight edge.
I protest consumerism by making my own shirts.
I wrote an essay on my idea of utopia. You are not in it.
I tried to kill myself in the 1990s.
Because it’s better to burn out than fade away.
I smell like teen spirit.
I wear eyeliner.

Why Alt Will Become Mnstrm

1. big corporations will let u ‘personalize ur brand’ so that everyone will be wearing his own personalized brand of nike
2. marginalized groups will turn slurs into slang with positive connotation (just want 2 be queer after yall)
3. everything will be available in 2 forms: original and pill
4. ppl will start 2 write in abbreviations and codes, substituting ‘real words’ 4 quick txt
5. the music u think is hip and alt now will become ‘popular’ and u will start to make fun of it while secretly loathing urself 4 liking it (e.g. the coldplays and c&c music factory)
6. u will not be able 2 keep up with ‘fashion trends’ bc retro will become mnstrm will become passé will become retro will become teen spirit will become mnstrm will become fig leaves
7. yall will get facial piercings 2 emulate the ppl u see on public transportation from the ‘bad area of town’
8. u will start riding a fixed gear bc u want to avoid the ‘odors’ u encounter on public transportation
9. ur mom will try 2 use ‘popular’ lingo 2 better ‘identify’ with u and be ur bff
10. mnstrmers will think it is ‘cool’ 2 be alt and alts will think it is ‘cool’ 2 be robot

25 Apron Strings

Or 25 Random Things if you want to be like everyone on facebook.

1. I have panic attacks in crowds and congested parking lots
2. I will go to great lengths to avoid these situations
3. I am a perfectionist
4. I do not like television; it does not hold my interest at all
5. I do not like having to write things down
6. I sometimes look in the mirror and don’t think I look like myself
7. Being in love scares me
8. Yet I crave intimacy and love in my life
9. I hate living in suburbia, but I do not know how to leave
10. I wish I had the guts to move somewhere cool like Boulder, CO
11. I feel guilty every time I eat and constantly fear getting fat
12. I love working out and secretly want big muscles
13. I am not good with feelings; I do not know what to do with them or how to express them; this is a great source of frustration for me
14. I feel completely inept in romantic relationships
15. This really bothers me
16. Because I’m typically successful at most ventures in life, but romantic relationships seem to be my Achilles heel
17. The other thing I’m really bad at is finding my way around somewhere I’ve never driven
18. I feel directionally incompetent
19. I detest small talk
20. I prefer my own company to that of others
21. It takes enormous effort for me to interact with people
22. I am annoyed by people who act like they know what they are talking about when they really do not
23. I do not like having to repeat myself
24. I am fascinated by unique individuals who think or act outside of what is socially acceptable or normal
25. Many social conventions are inane and useless anyway

Sea of Swirly Twirly Gumdrops

As I motored up the hill in my unassuming suburban neighborhood on my way home after a long day at the office yesterday, a simple white-and-crimson sign caught my eye. Stuck in my neighbor's lawn, looking like a pest-control advertisement, the placard guilelessly read, "Happy Birthday Jesus." Inelegant yet frank, this sign captured my attention more than even the most outlandishly flashy displays that are so common in these affluent north metro Atlanta suburbs. And I had to wonder why this would be the case.

In our culture, there exists a perception that more is better. Supersize me. Indulge yourself. Small has become Tall and medium is Grande. The red-and-green season festooned with tinsel and garaland is a microcosm of our society's tendency to excess. Houses flashing gaudily (I mean, "prettily") with flashing lights in tri-color, six-foot candy canes flanking the driveway, and a plastic waving Santa Clause on the roof are so commonplace as to be unremarkable.

What do garland, candy, jingle bells, Douglas firs, and swirly twirly gumdrops have to do with Christmas?

The true reason for Christmas is the birth of Jesus, right? I mean, none of this chintzy hoopla would exist if God had not come to this planet in the form of a teeny baby who was born poor and persecuted even in his innocence. The birth of Jesus (as well as His subsequent death and resurrection thirty three years later) is the most significant and astounding event in the entire history of the universe. This little bundle of joy, complete with poopy diapers (that were not nearly as sophisticated as today's bigger sized! dry-shield! expands-with-your-baby's-breathing! diappies, although they were probably more environmentally friendly 2000 years ago) single-handedly saved the world from eternal damnation.

The word CHRIST-mas even contains His name!

Yet in our consumeristic overindulgent society, our Savior has been marginalized and nearly forgotten in favor of 800-watt synchronized twinkly bulbs and frolicking elves. So when I saw my neighbor's modest sign, I was more breathless than I would have been gazing at the most elaborate and high-wattage holiday displays.

Ironic.