Why Alt Will Become Mnstrm

1. big corporations will let u ‘personalize ur brand’ so that everyone will be wearing his own personalized brand of nike
2. marginalized groups will turn slurs into slang with positive connotation (just want 2 be queer after yall)
3. everything will be available in 2 forms: original and pill
4. ppl will start 2 write in abbreviations and codes, substituting ‘real words’ 4 quick txt
5. the music u think is hip and alt now will become ‘popular’ and u will start to make fun of it while secretly loathing urself 4 liking it (e.g. the coldplays and c&c music factory)
6. u will not be able 2 keep up with ‘fashion trends’ bc retro will become mnstrm will become passé will become retro will become teen spirit will become mnstrm will become fig leaves
7. yall will get facial piercings 2 emulate the ppl u see on public transportation from the ‘bad area of town’
8. u will start riding a fixed gear bc u want to avoid the ‘odors’ u encounter on public transportation
9. ur mom will try 2 use ‘popular’ lingo 2 better ‘identify’ with u and be ur bff
10. mnstrmers will think it is ‘cool’ 2 be alt and alts will think it is ‘cool’ 2 be robot