Je Ne Sais Quoi

A friend told me this story:
“I was sitting in an airport, and a man came by and told me, ‘You are very beautiful. I mean, you are an attractive woman, but there is something else about you that makes you extraordinarily lovely.’ I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t say this to him, but having Jesus in you makes you very attractive to some people. I just thanked him and he went on his way.”

I sometimes assume that people who aren’t Christians are turned off by those who are, in part because they are different, and differences invariably cause rifts, and in part because Christians themselves are often the worst evidence for Christianity. Those who call themselves Christians are often hypocrites or overly religious, cramming God down the throats of all they encounter.

But I have been surprised by the number of people who seem drawn to me, particularly as I grow in my faith. I became a Christian about four and a half years ago, and the longer I have spent on my journey, the more I die to myself and live for Christ. He is truly changing me from the inside out. It is often difficult for me to see myself as others do, but I can tell that over the past few years, people approach and respond to me differently than they did in the past. And my sense is that they notice a quality in me that they may not understand, but that I know is Jesus.

I spend a lot of time working out at the gym, and I have been passionate about exercise and a member of a gym for about ten years. For many years, though I was at the gym every evening, no one ever talked to me or approached me. That was fine with me, as I am an introvert, and I am at the gym to work out, not to socialize. And I never really gave it much thought one way or the other.

But increasingly over the past several years, people have begun approaching me, especially in the past couple of years. Granted, there are likely other contributing factors, but I cannot help but think that people see something in me that was not there before. As my identity in Christ grows, I am more confident and more at peace. People seem very intrigued by me, or by the qualities Jesus imbues in me. This is not to give myself props; there is nothing particularly special about me. I am not drastically different than I was years ago. Except God.

I feel that God is using me somehow. He has made me more approachable (often much to my chagrin; if you’ll remember from a previous post how I loathe small talk) so that He can work through me.

I have had some amusing encounters, one of which I will share with you in another post. I am not entirely sure how God is using me, but I sense that He is.

Incidentally, and while I’m on the topic of what God is doing in and through me, I have been thinking a lot about spiritual warfare. I have noticed how the evil one uses my sin and temptations to sin to make me think negative, self-deprecating thoughts about myself. It dawned on me that instead of jumping on that downward spiral, I can instead remind myself that I am a daughter of God. I am His beloved child, and nothing I do can make Him love me any less. He is there for me when I call to Him. This is not an excuse for licentiousness, but it is a comfort when I begin believing the lies about myself that I am weak and worthless.

The way that temptation and sin gets a hold on me is when I tell myself I am powerless. I start to believe that I am no good because I am tempted to be disobedient. But instead of being hard on myself, I now see that I need to come to God and tell Him I need his help. I need to believe the truth, that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).