Sunday, January 10, 2010

Smoke and Mirrors

It seems like everyone around me is falling apart. My friends are depressed, anxious, and struggling with relationships, health, and life in general. A lot of people around me seem very insecure; they discourage others and attempt to create drama. Others are struggling with self-condemnation and feelings of worthlessness. One dear friend has checked herself into treatment for depression. Another friend has had a sick parent, health issues, and relationship issues, one after the other. Someone else told me she sees herself as a failure and suffers from feelings of anxiety and fear. Acquaintances are acting jealous and petty.

With very low humidity in the air, perhaps people’s brains are being affected by the static electricity. Every surface in my house gives me a shock. We are most comfortable in an environment where the relative humidity (the amount of water vapor actually in the air divided by the amount of water vapor the air can hold) is around 45%, and indoor humidity should not go below 30% (or above 50%). Today, the maximum humidity outdoors is only around 35%, and in the house, it has hovered around 30% for the last few weeks. My hair is crazy; it looks like I’m touching a Van de Graaff generator. I need some negative ions.

Incidentally, research shows that high levels of negative ions are a useful treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder if the negative ions are in sufficient quantity. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a subset of depression (chronic sadness, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness) that is experienced seasonally, particularly in winter. Even for those who do not meet the criteria for a diagnosable disorder, the severely cold weather (temperatures in the teens) and limited daylight hours certainly affect people’s moods.

Additionally, people are likely suffering because of Mercury. Mercury is in retrograde, meaning that it appears to be moving backwards through the zodiac, and it has been since the day after Christmas (December 26, 2009). It will reach direct station again on January 15, 2010. In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education, and transportation. Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.

As Bloc Party sings in their song “Mercury,” “My Mercury's in retrograde / This is not the time, the time to start a new love / This is not the time, the time to sign a lease.”

Snarls in communication abound. The Check Engine light in my car came on last week. Unresolved issues from my past are bubbling to the surface. Mercury is creating mayhem in my life. Wikipedia is not working properly, and I feel out of sorts, because where will I get my information now?

I am struggling with sadness of my own. I cannot even seem to articulate it or understand it. I am sad for my friends who are suffering. I am grieved over experiences from my past. I battle with a loneliness of unknown origin. I know intellectually that there is no reason for me to feel lonely. I feel like I am grieving something that is just beyond my conscious awareness. Like smoke, it dispels elusively.


2 comments:

  1. While I can understand what you are stating with Seasonal Affective Disorder I find it hard to believe that this can be an excuse. In sum of it all, you and I an everybody else, must understand that we are human. We have emotions. We will suffer from depression at some point, many points, throughout our lives.

    It would definitely make sense to blame the cold weather. What about the other seasons though? Too hot in the summer, too windy in the fall, too many allergies in the spring? The list could go on. While the seasons do affect our behavior and does account for our depression, I do not believe that it has much to do with our depression in the grand scope of things.

    Our life circumstances define our depression. Our family history through the passing of certain genes define our depression. Remember, we are a broken world and broken people. Only the Lord can help us with our depression. Only he can truely rid us of that mood.

    As with everything, prayer is where we really need to start looking toward to answer our questions and doubt.

    Does any of this make sense or did I totally confuse you?

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  2. Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Anonymous.

    While I do believe that God created the universe, and that planetary (or other celestial) forces may play a role in events, I certainly do not believe that Mercury is solely responsible for any troubles that befall us. Nor do I believe that the cold weather is the source of our malaise. I am a big proponent of taking personal responsibility for our choices to the degree for which it is appropriate (some struggle is a result of our own sin, but certainly not all, as this is a fallen world), as well as turning to our singular true source of comfort and healing, Jesus Christ, for help.

    I agree that cold weather does not cause depression, per se, and is not an “excuse.” But studies have shown that serotonin, one of the major mood-regulating neurotransmitters, is affected by exposure daylight. And as we know, daylight is diminished in the winter. Bright, natural outdoor light stimulates the pineal gland to produce serotonin. Serotonin levels are higher when the days are longer (or when there is more exposure to daylight), and higher serotonin levels correlate with positive mood and a sense of calm. Granted, there is not a clear one-to-one causal relationship between daylight and mood, but a significant link is certainly supported by the research. (Conversely, research does not show a major link between mood and allergies or windiness.)

    As you mentioned, depression is caused by many factors, including family history, personality, trauma, vitamin deficiencies, seasons, stress, drug abuse, and neurotransmitter imbalances.

    I also concur that God is the answer to all our woes on Earth. We are broken people, and He is the great comforter. Prayer is a great way to initiate healing. I do believe that God provides us with many tools that can help with depression: friends, family, medication (though this is controversial), talk therapy, education, exercise, etc.

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