2. Eschew material possessions and protest consumerism. Act like you live in abject poverty and buy all of your clothes from the thrift store. For an extra twist, aim to look disheveled and wear mismatched colors. Never buy gifts for others. If you must give a gift, give used books.
3. Make up random jargon and throw it around. For instance, “Dude, that fixed-gear bike is sinister broccoli,” or “That guy is a total flag; he thinks he’s beautiful, but he’s not.” Even better, convert your slang phrases into acronyms and casually drop them into convo: “ETA and you risk getting worms.” (ETA = eat the apple). Of course it doesn’t make sense. That’s the whole point.
4. Everyone has a few friends who consider themselves musicians, whether that self-perception is realistic or not. Rip some of their tunes and play them loudly. When friends or bystanders ask what band you are listening to, say, “I can’t believe you’ve never heard of Orphean Sculptures. They are downright treacherous, man!”
5. Think of all the dorky things people do that attract negative attention and ridicule. Now do those things intentionally. Some examples include the following: wear a pocket protector, put tape around the frame of your glasses, button all the buttons on your shirt, or walk around with a Calculus textbook. Some of my personal favorites include walking around the grocery store with one pant leg rolled up or facing the wrong direction while riding an elevator.
6. Never purchase overpriced beverages from large multinational chains based in the Pacific Northwest. Instead, design your own logo and paste it onto Styrofoam cups. For the more creative and adventurous, design and paint your own chalice or grail. Drink your plain coffee (gasp!) while sporting these one-of-a-kind containers.
haha love this article. :)
ReplyDelete